Probably stupid

When I was new to knitting and discovered the internet knitting community, back in 2004-2005, I loved the idea of knitting challenges. Knit-a-longs, sock challenges, knitting-in-particular-colour-challenges, thematic blogging regarding knitting and whatnot. I gradually discovered that I was totally rubbish at it. Whenever I set myself to one of these, I got bored with it rather quickly and just dropped the whole thing. Just to pick up another challenge.

Keeping this character trait in mind, I’ve always loved the idea of presenting my family and friends with thoughtful and lovely knitted gifts for Christmas. I only ever did it once, and not even for everyone, and that was back in 2005, I think. I still think it’s a wonderful idea, but with a little sadness, because I will never accomplish it. Or will I?

Me and my husband spent last Christmas (2014) in New York City with a bunch of friends and had an abolutely lovely time! When I came home, though, I felt a bit robbed of Christmas. Despite all the Christmas decorations, wonderful food and even the Christmas Spectacular at the Radio City Music Hall, I lacked the Christmas feeling. So, what? You might ask. How old are you? Do you really need that Christmas feeling? The thing is, I do.

I’ve always loved Christmas. Not because of the origins of it, I’m not a christian, but because what it has come to mean for me. For as long as I can remember, Christmas has meant not just gifts and decorations and certain types of food, but that time and space itself was altered. Transformed. Become otherworldly. It’s difficult to describe. It’s a feeling. Something I perceive. And it’s impossible for me to experience that when I’m not at home.

So. No more going away during Christmas. We’ve done it a few times now, but I’ve finally realised that I don’t want to do it anymore. I need to stay at home and prepare. And be there when it happens.

Now that I’ve realised this, I want to do everything I can to make the most of it. One thing might be to finally give my family and loved ones the things I want to give them.

This will of course take up a lot of my time and require a lot of dedication and determination. I know I have dedication and determination, but only when it comes to things that I find meaningful. Knitting a ton of things to meet a deadline might not be one of them, but I’m going to give it a try. In fact, I’ve alreday started! A simple, but elegant shawl in a very nice wool yarn I bought in Estonia a few years ago. And it’s almost finished, even…

Trekantssjal med spetskant

To be continued…

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2 thoughts on “Probably stupid

  1. Yes, i quickly discovered that KALs were not for me. I just couldn’t keep up with them. I also hate being away from home for Christmas, although sometimes we do it because of visiting relatives. What I like about Christmas is having a nice long time off work and just being able to hole up at home!

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